How Many of These 51 Spiritual Awakening Symptoms do YOU Have?

2017 Indigo People Symptoms

How many of these 51 spiritual awakening symptoms do YOU have?  Quiz yourself and your friends HERE!

by Annarita

1. Changing sleep patterns: restlessness, hot feet, waking up two or three times a night.
Feeling tired after you wake up and sleepy off and on during the day. There is something called the Triad Sleep Pattern that occurs for many: you sleep for about 2-3 hours, wake up, go back to sleep for another couple of hours, wake again, and go back to sleep again. For others, the sleep requirements have changed. You can get by on less sleep. Lately I How Many of These 51 Spiritual Awakening Symptoms do YOU Have?have been experiencing huge waves of energy running into my body from the crown. It feels good, but it keeps me awake for a long time, then subsides. Advice: Get used to it. Make peace with it and don’t worry about getting enough sleep (which often causes more insomnia). You will be able to make it through the day if you hold thoughts of getting just what you need. You can also request your Higher Self to give you a break now and then and give you a good, deep night’s sleep. If you can’t go back to sleep right away, use the waking moments to meditate, read poetry, write in your journal or look at the moon. Your body will adjust to the new pattern.

2. Activity at the crown of the head: Tingling, itching, prickly, crawling sensations along the scalp and/or down the spine.
A sense of energy vibrating on top of the head, as if energy is erupting from the head in a shower. Also the sensation of energy pouring in through the crown, described as “sprinkles”. This may also be experienced as pressure on the crown, as if someone is pushing his/her finger into the center of your head. As I mentioned in #1, I have been experiencing huge downloads of energy through the crown. In the past, I have felt more generalized pressure, as if my head is in a gentle vise. One man related that his hair stood on end and his body was covered with goosebumps.

Advice: This is nothing to be alarmed about. What you are experiencing is an opening of the crown chakra. The sensations mean that you are opening up to receive divine energy.

3. Sudden waves of emotion.
Crying at the drop of a hat. Feeling suddenly angry or sad with little provocation. Or inexplicably depressed. Then very happy. Emotional roller coaster. There is often a pressure or sense of emotions congested in the heart chakra (the middle of the chest). This is not to be confused with the heart, which is located to the left of the heart chakra.

Advice: Accept your feelings as they come up and let them go. Go directly to your heart chakra and feel the emotion. Expand it outward to your all your fields and breathe deeply from the belly all the way up to your upper chest. Just feel the feeling and let it evaporate on its own. Don’t direct the emotions at anyone. You are cleaning out your past. If you want some help with this, say out loud that you intend to release all these old issues and ask your Higher Power to help you. You can also ask Grace Elohim to help you release with ease and gentleness. Be grateful that your body is releasing these emotions and not holding onto them inside where they can do harm. One source suggests that depression is linked to letting go of relationships to people, work, etc. that no longer match us and our frequencies. When we feel guilty about letting go of these relationships, depression helps us medicate that pain.

4. Old “stuff” seems to be coming up, as described above, and the people with whom you need to work it out (or their clones) appear in your life.
Completion issues. Or perhaps you need to work through issues of self-worth, abundance, creativity, addictions, etc. The resources or people you need to help you move through these issues start to appear.

Advice: Same as #3. Additionally, don’t get too involved in analyzing these issues. Examining them too much will simply cycle you back through them over and over again at deeper and deeper levels. Get professional help if you need to and walk through it. Do not try to avoid them or disassociate yourself from them. Embrace whatever comes up and thank it for helping you move ahead. Thank your Higher Power for giving you the opportunity to release these issues. Remember, you don’t want these issues to stay stuck in your body.

5. Changes in weight.
The weight gain in the US population is phenomenal. Other people may be losing weight. We often gain weight because many fears we have suppressed are now coming up to the surface to be healed. We react by building up a defense. We also attempt to ground ourselves or provide bulk against increasing frequencies in our bodies.

Advice: Don’t freak out, but just accept it as a symptom of where you are right now. You will release/gain the weight when all your fears have been integrated. Release your anxiety about this. Then you might find it easier to lose/gain the weight eventually. Exercise. Before eating, try this: Sit at the table with an attractive place setting. Light a candle. Enjoy how the food looks. Place your dominant hand over your heart and bless the food. Tell your body that you are going to use the food to richly nourish it, but that you are not going to use the food to fulfill your emotional hungers. Then pass your hand from left to right over the food and bless it. You may notice that the food feels warm to your hand even if the food is cold– I like to think that the food is good for me when it feels warm and nourishing to my hand. I have also noticed that when I practice blessing the food, I don’t eat as much. It is important not to let yourself off the hook when you forget to bless the food before you eat. If I’ve forgotten and I’ve nearly finished eating, I bless the food anyway. That way I don’t slip out of the habit. Another thing you can do is to stay present while eating — don’t watch TV or read. Heartily enjoy what blessings are before you.

6. Changes in eating habits: Strange cravings and odd food choices.
Some find they are not as hungry as they used to be. Or hungrier.

Advice: Don’t deny what your body tells you it needs. If you are not sure, you might try muscle-testing before you chose a food to see if it’s what your body wants. Also try blessing the food as described in #5.

7. Food intolerances, allergies you never had before.
As you grow more spiritual, you are more sensitive to everything around you. Your body will tell you what it can no longer tolerate, as if it, too, is sloughing off what doesn’t serve it anymore. You might be cleansing yourself of toxins. Some people find they often have a white residue in their mouth, much like that of runners at the end of a race.

Advice: An acupuncturist told me that this film can be removed by sloshing 2 tablespoons of cold-pressed olive oil in your mouth for 10-15 minutes (don’t swallow, whatever you do), then spitting it out into the toilet — not the sink, for you just removed toxins from your body and don’t want them in the sink. Brush your teeth and do the same. Then clean your brush. (Sorry this is yukky, but itworks.)

8. Amplification of the senses.
Increased sensitivity.

8a. Sight: Blurry vision, shimmering objects, seeing glittery particles, auras around people, plants, animals, and objects. Some report seeing formerly opaque objects as transparent. When you close your eyes, you no longer see darkness, but redness. You may also see geometric shapes or brilliant colors and pictures when eyes are closed. Colors appear more vivid — the sky might look teal orthe grass an amazing green. Often I see grids running across the ground. As you become more sensitive, you may see shapes or outlines in the air, especially when the room is almost dark. When your eyes are open or closed, you may see white shapes in your peripheral vision (these are your guides).

Advice:Your vision is changing in many ways — you are experiencing new ways of seeing. Be patient. Whatever you do, do not be afraid. Hazy vision maybe relieved by yawning.

8b. Hearing: Increased or decreased hearing. I once thought I would have to pull off the road because of the painfully amplified sound of my tires on the freeway. Other symptoms are hearing white noise in the head, beeps, tones, music or electronic patterns.Some hear water rushing, bees buzzing, whooshing, roaring or ringing. Others have what is called audio dyslexia– you can’t always make out what people are saying, as if you can no longer translate your own language. Some hear strange voices in their dreams, as if someone is hovering near them. You can either ask the presence(s) to leave or ask Archangel Michael to take care of the situation. Again, there is nothing to fear.

Advice: Surrender to it. Let it come through. Listen. Your ears are adjusting to new frequencies.

8c. Enhanced senses of smell, touch, and/or taste. I notice I can now smell and taste chemical additives in some foods in a rather unpleasant manner. Other food may taste absolutely wonderful. For some people, these enhancements are both delightful and distracting. You might even smell the fragrance of flowers now and then. Many of the mystics did. Enjoy it.

9. Skin eruptions:
Rashes, bumps, acne, hives, and shingles. Anger produces outbreaks around the mouth and chin. I had a dermatitis on my extremities for several months that accompanied healing an episode from my past. When I had worked through most of the issue, the condition was released.

Advice: You may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and you are trying to repress it, your skin will express the issue for you until you process the emotions. Work through your “stuff”.

10. Episodes of intense energy which make you want to leap out of bed and into action.
Followed by periods of lethargy and fatigue. The fatigue usually follows great shifts. This is a time of integration, so give into it.

Advice: Roll with the nature of the energy. Don’t fight it. Be gentle with yourself. Take naps if you are tired. Write your novel if you are too energized to sleep. Take advantage of the type of energy.

11. Changes in prayer or meditation.
Not feeling the same sensations as before. Not having the same experience of being in contact with Spirit. Difficulty in focusing.

Advice: You may be in more instant and constant communion with Spirit now and the sensation may therefore be altered. You will adapt to this new feeling. You are actually thinking and acting in partnership with Spirit most of the time now. You may find your meditation periods shorter.

12. Power surges:
All of a sudden you are heated from head to toe. It is a momentary sensation, but uncomfortable. In contrast, some people have felt inexplicably cold. I have experienced both. More recently I experience waves or currents of energy rolling through me. Sometimes the energy seems so intense when it first comes into my body that I feel a little nauseated. But if I think of the energy as divine and let go of fear, I feel wonderful and enjoy the sensation. If you are an energy worker, you may have noticed that the heat running through your hands has increased tremendously. This is good.

Advice: If you are uncomfortable, ask your Higher Power, that if it be for your best and highest good, to turn down/up the temperature a bit.

13. A range of physical manifestations:
Headaches, backaches, neck pains, flu-like symptoms (this is called vibrational flu), digestive problems, muscular spasms or cramps, racing heartbeat, chest pains, changes in sexual desire, numbness or pain in the limbs, and involuntary vocalizations or bodily movements. Some of us have even had old conditions from childhood reappear briefly for healing.

Advice: Remember what I said about seeking medical help if you need it! If you have determined that this is not a medical condition, relax in the realization that it is only temporary.

14. Looking younger.
Yippee! As you clear emotional issues and release limiting beliefs and heavy baggage from the past, you are actually lighter. Your frequency is higher. You love yourself and life more. You begin to resemble the perfect you that you really are.

15. Vivid dreams.
Sometimes the dreams are so real that you wake up confused. You may even have lucid dreams in which you are in control. Many dreams may be mystical or carry messages for you. And in some dreams, you just know that you are not “dreaming” — that what is happening is somehow real.

Advice: You will remember what is important for you to remember. Don’t force anything. Above all, stay out of fear.

16. Events that completely alter your life:
death, divorce, change in job status, loss of home, illness, and/or other catastrophes — sometimes several at once! Forces that cause you to slow down, simplify, change, re-examine who you are and what your life means to you. Forces that you cannot ignore. Forces that cause you release your attachments. Forces that awaken your sense of love and compassion for all.

17. A desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life-draining jobs consumptive lifestyles, and toxic people or situations.
You feel a compelling need to “find yourself” and your life purpose — now! You want to be creative and free to be who you really are. You might find yourself drawn to the arts and nature. You want to unclutter yourself from things and people that no longer serve you.

Advice: Do it!

18. Emotional and mental confusion:
A feeling that you need to get your life straightened out–it feels like a mess. But at the same time you feel chaotic and unable to focus. See #45.

Advice: Put your ear to your heart and your own discernment will follow.

19. Introspection, solitude and loss of interest in more extroverted activities:
This stage has come as a surprise to many extraverts who formerly saw themselves as outgoing and involved. They say, “I don’t know why, but I don’t like to go out as much as before.”

20. Creativity bursts:
Receiving images, ideas, music, and other creative inspirations at an often overwhelming rate.

Advice: At least record these inspirations, for Spirit is speaking to you about how you might fulfill your purpose and contribute to the healing of the planet.

21. A perception that time is accelerating.
time is acceleratingIt seems that way because you have had so many changes introduced into your life at an unprecedented rate. The number of changes seems to be growing.

Advice: Breaking your day up into appointments and time segments increases the sense of acceleration .You can slow time down by relaxing into the present moment and paying attention to what’s at hand, not anticipating what’s ahead. Slow down and tell yourself that you have plenty of time. Ask your Higher Power to help you. Keep your focus on the present. Try to flow from one activity to the next. Stay tuned to your inner guidance. You can also warp time by asking for it. Next time you feel rushed, say, “Time warp, please. I need some more time to —–.” Then relax.

22. A sense of impendingness.
There is a feeling that something is about to happen. This can create anxiety.

Advice: There is nothing to worry about. Things are definitely happening, but anxiety only creates more problems for you. All your thoughts — positive or negative– are prayers. There is nothing to fear.

23. Impatience.
You know better, but sometimes you can’t help it. You want to get on with what seems to be coming your way. Uncertainty is not comfortable.

Advice: Learn to live with the uncertainty, knowing that nothing comes to you until you are ready. Impatience is really a lack of trust, especially trust in your Higher Power. When you focus on the present, you will experience miracles — yes, even in traffic.

24. A deep yearning for meaning, purpose, spiritual connection, and revelation.
Perhaps an interest in the spiritual for the first time in your life. “Constant craving”, as k.d. lang says. The material world cannot fulfill this longing.

Advice: Follow your heart and the way will open up for you.

25. A feeling that you are somehow different.
A disquieting sense that everything in your life feels new and altered, that you have left your old self behind. You have. You are much greater than you can possibly imagine. There is more to come.

26. “Teachers” appear everywhere with perfect timing to help you on your spiritual journey:
people, books, movies, events, Mother Nature, etc. Teachers may appear to be negative or positive when you are trapped in polarity thinking, but, from a transcendent perspective, they are always perfect. Just what you need to learn from and move on. By the way, we never get more than we are ready to master. Each challenge presents us with an opportunity to show our mastery in passing through it.

27. You find a spiritual track that makes sense to you and “speaks to you” at the most profound levels.
Suddenly you are gaining a perspective that you would never have considered before. You hunger to know more. You read, share with others, ask questions, and go inside to discover more about who you are and why you are here.

28. You are moving through learning and personal issues at a rapid pace.
You sense that you are “getting it” quite readily.

Advice: Keep remembering that things will come to you when they are ready to be healed. Not sooner. Deal with whatever comes up with courage and you will move through the issues rapidly.

29. Invisible presences.
Here is the woo-woo stuff. Some people report feeling surrounded by beings at night or having the sensation of being touched or talked to. Often they will wake with a start. Some also feel their body orbed vibrate. The vibrations are caused by energetic changes after emotional clearing has taken place.

Advice: This is a sensitive topic, but you may feel better blessing your bed and space around it before you sleep. I rest assured that I am surrounded only by the most magnificent spiritual entities and am always safe in God’s care. Sometimes, however, the fear gets to me, and I call in Archangel Michael and/or Archangel Uriel. I don’t beat myself up for being afraid sometimes. I forgive myself for not always sovereign at 3:00 a.m.

30. Portents, visions, “illusions”, numbers, and symbols:
Seeing things that have spiritual importance for you. Noticing how numbers appear synchronistically in your awareness. Everything has a message if you take the time to look. I enjoy the experience of “getting the messages.” What fun!

31. Increased integrity:
You realize that it is time for you to seek and speak your truth. It suddenly seems important for you to become more authentic, more yourself. You may have to say “no” to people whom you have tried to please in the past. You may find it intolerable to stay in a marriage or job or place that doesn’t support who you are. You may also find there is nowhere to hide, no secrets to keep anymore. Honesty becomes important in all your relationships.

Advice: Listen to your heart. If your guidance tells you not to do something, speak up and take action. Say “no”. Likewise, you must also say “yes” to that which compels you. You must risk displeasing others without guilt in order to attain spiritual sovereignty.

32. Harmony with seasons and cycles:
You are becoming more tuned to the seasons, the phases of the moon and natural cycles. More awareness of your place in the natural world. A stronger connection to the earth.

33. Electrical and mechanical malfunctions:
When you are around, lightbulbs flicker, the computer locks up, or the radio goes haywire.

Advice: Call on your angels, guides, or Grace Elohim to fix it or put up a field of protection of light around the machine. Surround your car with bluelight. Laugh.

34. Increased synchronicity and many small miracles.
Look for more of these.

Advice:Synchronistic events tell you if you are heading in the right direction or making the correct choices. Honor these clues and you cannot go astray. Spirit uses synchronicity to communicate to you. That’s when you begin to experience daily miracles. See #30.

35. Increased intuitive abilities and altered states of consciousness:
Thinking of someone and immediately hearing from them. More synchronicities. Having sudden insights about patterns or events from the past. Clairvoyance, out-of-body experiences, and other psychic phenomena. Intensified sensitivity and knowing. Awareness of one’s essence and that of others. Channeling angelic and Christ-consciousness energies.

36. Communication with Spirit.

Contact with angels, spirit guides, and other divine entities. Channeling. More and more people seem to be given this opportunity. Feeling inspiration and downloading information that takes form as writing, painting, ideas, communications, dance, etc.

37. A sense of Oneness with all.
A direct experience of this Wholeness. Transcendent awareness. Being flooded with compassion and love for all life. Compassionate detachment or unconditional love for all is what lifts us up to higher levels of consciousness and joy.

38. Moments of joy and bliss.
A deep abiding sense of peace and knowing that you are never alone.

39. Integration:
You become emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually stronger and clearer. You feel as if you are in alignment with your Higher Self.

40. Living your purpose:
You know you are finally doing what you came to earth for. New skills and gifts are emerging, especially healing ones. Your life/work experiences are now converging and starting to make sense. You are finally going to use them all.

Advice: Listen to your heart. Your passion leads you to where you must go. Go within and ask your Higher Self, “What is it you would have me do?” Watch for synchronicities. Listen.

41. Feeling closer to animals and plants.
To some people, animals now seem to be more “human” in their behavior. Wild animals are less afraid. Plants respond to your love and attention more than ever. Some may even have messages for you.

42. Seeing beings of other dimensions.
The veil between dimensions is thinner, so it is not surprising. Just stay in your sovereignty. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine, so do not entertain fear. Ask your guides for help if you slip into fear.

43. Seeing a person’s true form or seeing loved ones with a different face — past life or parallel life.

44. Physically manifesting thoughts and desires more quickly and efficiently.

Advice: Monitor your thoughts. All thoughts are prayers. Be careful what you ask for.

45. Left-brain fogginess.
Your psychic abilities, your intuitive knowing, your feeling and compassion, your ability to experience your body, your visioning, your expressiveness all emanate from the right brain. In order for this side of the brain to develop more fully, the left brain must shut down a little bit. Normally the left-hemisphere’s capacity for order, organization, structure, linear sequencing, analysis, evaluation, precision, focus, problem-solving, and mathematics dominate our often less-valued right brain. What results are memory lapses, placing words in the wrong sequence, inability or no desire to read for very long, inability to focus; forgetting what you are just about to say; impatience with linear forms of communication (audio or written formats); a feeling of spaciness, being scattered; losing interesting research or complex information; feeling bombarded with words and talk and information; and a reluctance to write. Sometimes you feel dull and have no interest in analysis, lively intellectual discussion, or investigation. On the other hand, you might find yourself drawn to the sensate: videos, magazines with photos, beautiful artwork, movies, music, sculpting, painting, being with people, dancing, gardening, walking, and other kinesthetic forms of expression. You may search for spiritual content, even science fiction.

Advice: You may discover that if you allow your heart and your right brain to lead you, the left will then be activated appropriately to support you. And someday we will be well-balanced, using both hemispheres with mastery.

46. Dizziness.
This occurs when you are ungrounded. Perhaps you have just cleared a big emotional issue and your body is adjusting to your “lighter” state.

Advice: Ground yourself by eating protein. Sometimes “comfort food” feels right. Don’t make any food right or wrong for you. Use your guidance to know what you need at any given moment. Take your shoes off and put your feet in the grass for a couple of minutes.

47. Falling, having accidents, breaking bones.
Your body is not grounded or perhaps your life is out of balance. Or your body may be telling you to slow down, examine certain aspects of your life, or heal certain issues. There is always a message. When I recently broke my ankle, I understand that my ankle was taking on what I myself refused to deal with. And that was all of the above.

Advice: Stay grounded by taking your shoes off and putting your feet in the grass; even better, lie down on the grass without a blanket under you. Feel the earth beneath you. Get out in nature. Slow down and pay attention. Be mindful about what you are doing. Feel your feelings when they come up. Stay in the present. Surround yourself with blue light when you are feeling shaky.

48. Heart palpitations.
A racing heart usually accompanies a heart opening. It only lasts for a few moments and means that the heart is re-balancing itself after an emotional release. I had one episode that terrified me: I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding. I thought it was going to come right out of my chest. It only happened once and was, I understand, a huge heart chakra opening. But I did check it out. There is nothing wrong with my heart.

Advice: Remember what I said about getting medical attention when needed. Consult your doctor about any conditions you are not comfortable with.

49. Faster hair and nail growth.
More protein is being used in the body. Too bad we can’t tell the body where to grow the hair and where not to grow it. (Or can we? Hmmm.)

50. A desire to find your soulmate or twin flame.
More than ever before, the idea that we can have a relationship that matches who we are seems more desirable.

Advice: The truth is, we have to be the kind of person we want to attract. We have to love ourselves and where we are right now before we can attract a more “perfect” mate. The work begins at home. Here is how I think it works: Hold the desire for this person in your heart, but without attachment. Expect that someday you will meet someone who is more suited to you, but let go of any expectations as to who this will be and how it will happen. Focus instead on cleaning up your own life and being the kind of person you want to be. Be happy now. Enjoy your life. Then you may see…..

51. Memories surface.
Body memories, suppressed memories, images of past lives and/or parallel lives. We are healing and integrating all our “selves”, so expect to have some of these experiences.

Advice. Keep in mind that it is best to recall what only what comes to mind, leave the rest alone, don’t analyze everything to death (because you will be stuck in the tape loop of infinite issues to process), and feel your feelings as they come up. Ask for help from your guides.

Note: This document may be shared, but please send it in its entirety. Thanks. Love and hugs, Annarita

One thought on “How Many of These 51 Spiritual Awakening Symptoms do YOU Have?

  1. This is a story about one of my most profound waking experiences, forgive me for its length. I tried to keep away from unnecessary digression. My point is the 20 hours I go into detail about here wasn’t so much an awakening as it was a realization of how long I’d been obliviously awake.

    On September 7th, 2013, I couldn’t sleep. But my roommates and buddy crashed on the sofa could. So I started drawing quietly. Now I can’t draw what I want without having to put in a week at least for an acceptable finished piece. I rifled through my art binder. In a pocket I keep my HS diploma: in that is my birth certificate, social security card, and some metal mulisha stickers honoring my step Brother. In the middle of this sticker is a Helmut wearing skull with very distinct chevrons under it. I have never been good at sketching human body parts – with the exception of my very first drawing of boredom in 8th grade Spanish, and I drew a grim reaper standing profile. Every attempt since then I just threw away. However, it was as if the skull was coercing me. Challenging me to challenge myself. Now I know; that logically it would stand to reason the sentiments – I hold for my brother could have everything to do with me “stumbling” upon the sticker. For context: The very first time I met him, was the first time anyone had ever looked eye to eye with me. We immediately had nothing but love and respect for eachother. So I drew, and i worked at it meticulously, giving it everything I could muster. 3 1/2 hours later, my pencil sketch had a great resemblance to the source. Yet, as I looked it over and put my pencil down, only one thing came to mind. “You can do better.” Just 3 hours later my drawing felt like a carbon copy of what was printed on the sticker. I remember taking the time to revel in it, to combat the mocking disbelief I had with myself over the art.

    That’s when I looked at the time…

    Now September 8th, 2013; I finished drawing just after the crack dawn, 7:14 a.m. Almost like an echo was this sensation to, “Get the f**k outside.” Now this is 8 days before my 20th birthday and I was told later that week, National Suicide Awareness Day. That having personal signicance of being how Dan passed and the similarity between feelings of those who were close to him in life. So, I got in my truck with my dog (who’s mom was Dan’s) to take my buddy home to change clothes and get his girlfriend for a strolling journey along the riverside. Only outside of 4 houses from the destination was a familiar strut on the sidewalk, It was a lifelong of mine, who was the (2 year older) uncle of my lifelong friend. I asked where he was going and he told me, “I don’t know man. I just needed to get myself outside, so I started walking.” I asked if he wanted to go walking down by the river with us and he hopped in as i pulled into my buddy’s driveway. While waiting for him and his lady, I asked my friend if he could explain why he needed to get outside. He told me, “Well, I guess I just had this feeling to get the f**k out of my house. That’s badass I bumped into you though.”
    As we pulled out, I noticed the truck of the woman who thought she was my mom when she wasn’t even my father’s girlfriend. I felt it insulting to my mother when this lady told people my 2 siblings and I were her’s. I was behind her maybe a mile before she started waving her hand out of her window, trying to get my attention. Only I didn’t like spending time with her when it was forced upon me, so when she pulled over waving. I kept right on driving, the 4 of us all waving back. She got behind me honking and waving though so reluctantly I pulled over to talk with her. She gave me $20, saying she probably wouldn’t see me on my birthday.
    Now my buddy had spent all night talking about 3 doses of lsd a dude he knew had for just $30. I had tried acid before this, both times with other people, and both times they seemed to have been effected drastically more than me. So I decided this time I was gonna do it by myself, with a little help from my friends. $5 from my friend, and the hookup from my buddy, I wound up with the 3 tabs by 9:40 after having walked 4 miles at the river.
    I stopped at a gas station to use the “bathroom” but when I went in I started looking at the tabs. The paper used had the Declaration of Independence printed on it, albeit illigible. Not wanting to fuss over what my pieces said I ate them. Then and there. I bought a water on the way out and decided to go to City Park, it being super close. I parked near hole 4 of the disc golf course and laid out on the grass in the shade. We talked and played with my dog like nothing out of the ordinary. Until about 10:20. As I looked across the park, I could see the horizon beginning to wave/vibrate. That seemed like a good cue to leave seeing how I was driving us around. Before I could get out of the park though I had to pull over so all the water I had drank could be expelled from my stomach. Then I went straight back to the house I had started my day in..
    The first thing I did was walk into the kitchen and sit on the floor next to the fridge. Mind you this house wasn’t huge, I was really by everything in there, and I felt that I no longer needed to go anywhere, as I said, “I have everything I need right here.” My 2 roommates were in a heated debate on what to watch, and I was playing music. That’s when the 3 who didn’t live there, were ready to go. I had made it from the park just fine but I knew people who claimed driving on acid was nearly impossible. So I had my friend drive my truck with me riding shotgun to take buddy and his girl home. Once there I felt disappointed with myself for giving me that label of something being impossible to me. So I drove him home myself, and it was at this point that my being broke the first threshold. The streets were there, by which I mean I could see the roads, signs, and houses. Yet I was able to ignore them completely and could see onto the horizon as if my town had never been touched by humans. So I drove through town as if it were empty but only to my eyes. The rest of my senses keeping me aware of where I actually was. I dropped him off and went back home.
    I get there and my roommates were on the couch still not having decided on something to watch, and were both emenating red auras and feeling like Jacks from a deck of cards. I just walked into the kitchen and sat down at where I had been drawing. As if on cue when I sat down they decided on playing season 3 of the Simpsons. Where I was sitting at the kitchen counter shared space with their television, the back of it being directly in front of me. In the same amount of time it took them to see the couch gag, I had watched my entire life flash before my eyes to a Simpsons theme. As the characters started speaking on the show, they were replaced with those close to me who were their embodiment. However this was but a tiny shred of what my soul was doing in conjunction with my mind and their energy.
    I was texting 4 people: one in California, Oklahoma, Michigan and Florida, all the while feeling/knowing their responses as they typed them, responding to what they said as i got the message. Staring at a blank paper, I could see everything I could think of to draw. As if it were already on the paper and I would just be going over lines. Despite the Simpsons presence, my listening to music wasn’t hindered and I was just singing along. To continue, despite texting 4 people one of them being my sister in Oklahoma (surprised me since we live in Colorado), her and I began speaking metaphysically. We discussed my “secret” wreaking of her motorcycle. (She confirmed my apologies when I next saw her in person, telling me “I’m just glad you apologized.”) And it was after her and I finished our sob fest over my careless actions, that I found myself somewhere truly bizarr.
    I was climbing a staircase, carved into a solid gray stone mountain, that looked to be never ending, both ways. Neither the top nor the bottom could be seen. Just as I could see no end in sight, I realized I was walking hunched over and carrying what felt like the world on my shoulders. My next observation was that I wasn’t alone. With me were my sibling brother, my uncle friend, and an old friend who had crossed me badly… Alas all of them were empty handed. No weights on them which I didn’t understand at first, but I knew if I tired looking at what I was carrying I would drop it. Mere minutes sitting at the kitchen counter were stretched into hours spent walking up those stairs. For the first half hour we just walked. Then we came upon an elderly couple, each with what appeared to be an old school suitcase, the kind similar to briefcases. Neither of them could get their baggage up another step and were stranded in the desert, so to speak. Without hesitation I told them I’d carry their bags, and my brother grabbed each one and threw it up onto the planet of baggage, I had taken upon me. It then became clear that I had their baggage too, equally so that they were still walking with me. Everyone else, no longer weighed down, saw no reason to not race themselves up the stairs.
    Walking for what amounted to a full day on the staircase: We encountered more and more folks who had too much with them to handle, and not all of them were old bodied. Eventually I began to fully contemplate what was going on here, but it didn’t start out well. My thoughts had started to toxify, every new bag followed quickly by a fast disappearing silhouette, made my reasoning become murky to myself. I began to doubt whether anybody deserved what I had done for them. If you can’t carry what you’ve brought with you up the climb, then maybe you’re not supposed to make the climb. I felt anger bubble at the thought of everything I was doing for the sake of others’. Some held conversation until it went stale, most didn’t even give a thank you, but nearly all of them decided to abandon me. My 2 friends and brother being the exception.
    As the first day (for me, I started somewhere in the middle) ended, I could really feel the weight finally getting to me. I was still mulling over the true intentions of my actions and what could possibly be the endgame to the unknown. I was walking at almost a snail pace. Every step I took as serious and deliberate as getting married. On one such step my legs buckled and looking at the ground I dropped to my knees. Subconsciously keeping my torso straight since I still hadn’t found my answers. Little did I know I would find them right there. When my brother and backstabbing friend decided to trade off blows, one kicking high, the other kicking low, each kicking their hardest. All I could do, was look up wondering what I did to deserve their beating. I seen water spots on the ground and look up to see my brother is crying waterfalls kicking me. Distraught I cried out “Why me!?”, my brothers words to me were, “Because you’re the only one who can handle it.” And as he said that it brought the other kicker to tears as well. I looked to my 3rd friend with a face questioning what i heard, he only nodded ever so slightly.
    That was all I needed. Despite their kicking I felt stronger than when I had started. As I stood up I picked up my pace tremendously. Going from a creep to a jog. It wasn’t long after when the horizon began getting closer. The shape of the mountain began shifting as well. The stair case coming to the edge of the slope where it dropped off into what I’d call a basin. I could make out a plateau at the top of the basin, feeling it beckon me forward. Before I knew it there was 6 stairs left and everything seemed to slow down inside me. The plateau was now the never ending illusion where the cliffside had no end, and basin no bottom. 5 stairs to go I was tall enough to see golden gates peaking at me. The next step I could see half their height and realized they were a good distance across the plateau, and had finally figured out my end game. 3 steps left and it, or rather they came into view, a crowd of thousands upon thousands of people… seemingly waiting for something. That’s when the backstabber shoves past me running forward yelling “we made it!” My brother was actually there to save me from an impending stumble, as he too walked forward. As my foot found solid ground again, this roar started booming through the crowd and I found myself wondering, if they were waiting for me or just waiting for what I had. Either way I pushed the thought from my head with the last step, knowing wholeheartedly that just helping those in need drives me. My “friend” a third of the way to the crowd and not looking back. My brother just a few steps ahead looking at me. Then my other friend who’s to my left at my side watching me carefully. I chuckled as I hit the summit, wondering how many strides to take before I drop the bags so not to lose any to the edge. I took 5 and lobbed the mass of bags forward. Before it could land I was turned around, striding in the other direction. My friend and brother right there watching me as I went to the cliff edge and leapt off. I decided I wanted to freefall, so I could enjoy some weightlessness. Even for a short amount of time. Which is exactly what I got. I wasn’t more than 4 feet off the edge when time froze and soul left my jumping body, through my eyeballs. Almost* instantaneously zipping me into the eyes of myself standing on the ground looking up at me jumping. Now I say almost, because when I was in the middle of my bodies for a nano second I hovered there, under the realization of that being the 7th time my soul has made that leap.
    After my initial frustration of being deprived my freefall. I found myself back in the kitchen in front of the blank paper with everything I could draw still there, lined out and ready. Only I had a new idea and this one wasn’t laying itself out for me, aside for feeling the need to draw on the paper that had the perfect skull on it. I turned it into a depiction of heaven, hell, earth, souls themselves, and the human condition using the front and back of the paper. Looking at it the front you can see the ground and flowers along with a rock just placed at the base of a tall mountain, like most people view their reality. But hold the back to a light and the scene becomes starkly different. As the light guides the way, ambiguity is left for those who missed it’s departure.
    Well there’s more to the story but I feel this is long enough for now.

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